If you found this site by going through a browser history
or a saved link, it’s possible you are now in a state of shock. Before you
react, please take a moment to read this page.
It is important that
you realize that if your son or daughter is gay (visiting this site is not
proof of that), they are still the same kids you knew before you found this
link. They have not suddenly turned into someone whose moods, hurts, and
feelings you have never encountered before. You likely have the power to hurt
them deeply with your reaction. Please don’t.
You will have likely
have heard, and may even believe, that homosexuality is a choice.
Before you subscribe to this belief, take a moment to consider the following...
in today’s society, a homosexual is often a pariah - consider your own
reactions. Since it is well known that teens want to fit in with their
peers, you should ask yourself if it makes sense that they would choose a
lifestyle that alienates them from their peer group.
Because of their
orientation, teens are often the focus of family violence, neglect and
emotional abuse. They may be ejected forcibly from their homes - up to
half of the homeless teens in Seattle and New York are estimated to fall into
this category. Others run away because they can’t deal with the emotional
conflicts raised by their parents - whom they often love and want to be
able to talk with openly and honestly.
Homosexuality as a
lifestyle is not automatically immoral or promiscuous. These are subjects
you should talk with your teen about. Many teens want to find a special
someone, a soul mate, to stay with for their entire lives. Gay teens are
not an exception to this desire. If sexual activity is a concern - and it
is a legitimate one, regardless of sexual orientation - then find out the facts
for yourself, and make sure you teen is aware of them as well.
No one is asking you
to approve, if you don’t. What is being asked is that you continue to
love your children, and take some time to explore this discovery before you
take any action.
encourage you to take a look at the following link:
www.pflag.org - Other parents who
have found out their son or daughter is gay.
Also please take a
look at both the family and religion section on our site.
Finally, some parents
will react by taking their son and daughter off of the internet. Consider these
Our society is increasingly turning to
the internet. The proper reaction to concerns about material encountered
on the internet should be to do what you are doing now. Look and explore for yourself, and
discuss with your teen what is and is not allowed in your home, and why. If you meet your son or daughters real
life friends, it is reasonable to ask to meet their online friends as
well. Think also about what was said above,
about your teen being separated from their peers. Taking their
Internet access away won't change their orientation; it will only make
them more isolated and leave you to take the blame.
Sites like ours and
others supported by us are responsible for several teens being alive today, which
otherwise wouldn't be. Before you isolate your son and daughter emotionally
from their peers, who *do* know what they are going through because they are
going through it themselves, ask yourself what you are going to replace it